I FOUND HER.

                                                    the girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

rigor mortiz

I wonder about the legacy I'll be leaving behind when I croak.

How many people will choke back tears and let their sobs resonate over the bathroom walls
to avoid questioning stares and fake condolence greetings.

Who will contribute pictures of my once smiling face, claiming to be the love of my life?
claiming to be a variable that got affected by my words, music or my life ---
if there is any at all?

A terrorist once quipped, "it is not suicide if you offered your life for a cause".
I envy people who knows their cause.
I want to determine my fate.

I wonder if I can be a lost spirit hiding behind trees
eavesdropping as moths or butterflies
about tales shared over 3-in-1 coffees and repetitive card games.

Who will be brave enough to recite eulogies
to spread my ashes or throw petals on my new found bed

What songs will they play? I reckon they need to dig up
my favorites. and I reckon it will be hell. pun intended.


DeathCabforCutie.theSmiths.Beatles.Weezer.Morrissey.Nirvana.Pixies.ArcticMonekys.Rarariot.Phoenix.theStrokes.thePostalService.Pavement.theRadioDept.Thirdeyeblind.StoneTemplePilots.FriendlyFires.Lennon.TheLucksmiths.theDrums.Stars.FountainsofWayne.Thursday.Kowalski.MemoryHouse.SonicYouth.ModestMouse.theCribs.YeahYeahYeahs.theShins.HeadAutomatica.theSundays.theCardigans.Slowdive.MyBloodyValentine.EliottSmith.theXX.Oasis.Blur.JeffBuckley.Ash.SmashingPumpkins.SexPistols.theCure.JoyDivision.


Plans should be set.
There isn't much time.