Fatherhood is hard.
I tried so hard to be the best I can be, but I guess the best can't rival the always present.
Sometimes I wonder what Art really feels about me. What will she say when I die? I realized she is getting the bad end of daddy issues, and it is surprising to me as she was considered my favorite by others. At some point, she was. She was naturally clingy and sweet. Now even a song I wrote about her did not get any love after I let her hear it. I feel like I am always chasing an elusive love, and it crushes my soul.
She always held my father-in-law in high regard and though he was a good and loving man (I deeply respect him), Art didn't really get to live with him until his last days. And yet, she hurts for him and give him the most loving tributes.
That's what became of me — wishing to be dead just to get the same adoration.
