FIDELITY

Sometimes I need to shut up.

My mind has been regressing overdrive, convincing me that happiness is a lie in this space.

Or point of time.

And I know it isn't. I do feel different.

My friends can attest to the sudden “pinkish hue” (as George Costanza puts it) in my existence.

Pink. I like that.

But then these fuzzy spells, they have side-effects.

That’s the problem of someone who has been scarred countless times. You never recognized sincerity anymore.

But maybe I do. At least I am convinced that I do.

So every lapse of judgment in your lover’s part puts you in the middle of crossfire between trust and fear.

Whenever I watch the Bright Eyes’ video for First Day of my Life, I always wonder if the director or the artist would even consider me part of the cast if I audition for a part.

The warmth, the look the group of couple was projecting -- - It was real.

And it looked real. Or at least it looked like it.

And I wonder if I will ever be capable of throwing that look, instead of projectiles.

I think too much.

That’s what they say. That’s what SHE said.

Maybe I wasn't designed to handle the battles of a typical relationship.

That explains why I can relate to Jerry Maguire a lot.

great at friendship, bad at intimacy

poor emotional quotient. poor me.

That puts my lover in a horrendous spot.

Hope she can see the bright side of everything --- whatever that is.

I am talking too much again. I do that when I'm nervous. And when I'm nervous, I know something big is unfolding. 

I doubt if it's the end of the world because the Mayans are just a bunch of tribal henchmen trying to make sense of our existence. They are as dumb and lost as we are.

maybe it's her pulling out the latter day- Rob Gordon in me at the end of the day.