I wrote a song yesterday.
But it was an old song that I forgot that lyrics. It got a better chorus though. Can imagine it having a Jens Lekman vibe. I wonder if anyone would dig that. I am being genuine with my love for words, but not everyone reads.
Sent it to a lot of people. Needing validation. When will I realize I am good?
Am I though?
I miss dylan and art.
Two very different personalities.
I love how I am so much like Dylan in the anxious-sentimental type who is into good movies and pop culture.
Art craves attention and doesnt care if what ever she does is perfect — she just wants to perform and express her uniqueness.
Both like me.
How fascinated I am how these angels came out from my own DNA.
I miss watching movies with my kids. I mean we still do but sometimes I feel that I am forcing them to watch me. I know they like my selection, but they wont be 100% focus.
Maybe I just miss having a real girlfriend who I can totally geek with.
Speaking, where is she?
I am feeling lonely back here.
Been having breakdowns again. Crashing. Remedying it by reading the bible. It helps a little.
That London girl is hurting me a lot. I know there is no good end in sight but why do I stay? That's how battered my self worth is. It is toxic and yet I hope it will get better.
Not that I am saying I am perfect.
I am narcississtic too. But I feel that I am being fooled shamelessly. And being the hopeless romantic that I am, I keep waiting. I keep staying...WHY WHY WHY
