Losing my kids. Losing myself.

 I fear of losing my part of being a father.

I fear the memory of me in their minds slipping away.

I am just a holiday fixture. Another endorphin rush.

And to think that I am convinced that this is the only job I am doing right. Why do I feel like a fraud?

I really hope I am just imagining things, but I hope they still can see the value of us staying together once in a while.

I appreciate tbe mundane things. 

A story post. A surprise photo. A proud note.

Never felt that coming from my kids lately. I know I should let them be, but I have noone else to remind them how these things are important.

They don't know how I am breaking down in a transient home somewhere in alternate road alone, thinking that they would consider guy more special to them than me. 

I worry. I worry. 

My God, I am crying and worrying. I don't want to lose my only role in their lives.

I hope this changes when we come home to Iriga.