the good thing about having your own personal blog space is that you can do a bad beat poetry
or a stream-of-consciousness musing and still act as if you are a hell of a writer even though it is only laziness that's pulling you down to do a full-blown paragraph.
Guilty.
Kathy jokingly derided me at B-Side for being too depressed as seen on my various tweets. "maging masaya ka naman". She have teased me three times on various occassions about this subject matter. I would respond with a sheepish smile and answer "eh ganun e".
I love humor just like the next guy. I find being morose humorous though.
I love humor just like the next guy. I find being morose humorous though.
that's the difference. I am laughing at myself.
I also wonder what if I did withdraw or used a condom on that fateful night, September 2002.
will my life be any different? Would maturity knock on my head earlier?
Well I like to think I only matured (-- or became conscious of my flaws) when I got separated from my wife. So she's obviously part of the plot all along.
Loneliness does those things to you. A perspective you don't want to welcome, but need to.
I am loud.
But loud words in paper is different from being deafening.
Hopefully the guy I'm going to refer to the HR get hired so I will have that needed cash to feed myself. Many people are starting to notice that I'm getting thin. Poverty is the easiest excuse, but lack of love will be overly dramatic.
so yeah, poverty.
I envy people who are driven to blog and blog and blog. I am a lazy ass. I write poetry and songs for cathartic purposes but I can't for the life of me, give out an honest-to-goodness summary of what I'm really going through.
sip.
My Dear Ahmad,
ReplyDeleteTea party over? Why so early? We haven't started yet! First and foremost, I don' t think that someone like you should, and Is actually lonely. Look at yourself ahmad, you are one of the most lovable people in this workplace. Last night before going home, I thought of buying you a hallmark card, hmmm, but I realized I'll just write here instead, so many many people will be able to read how of a good person you are. And honestly, I doubt that you are lonely. Where in the world would you get all the joys that you share to us if you are lonely inside? Am I making sense Sigmund Freud? Lack of love? Nah...You are most loved! =) Sometimes, people who are single mistakenly connect being "alone" to being "lonely". Those two are different, way way way different in my perspective. I'm not trying to vouch for single blessedness here okay? I also have dreams of becoming a wonderful wifey and mother. What I'm saying is that your "over" mood is actually giving me the impression that you are becoming such a drama queen. =) pffft ahmad, it's not worth it. Leave all the drama to me =) And about finances? Think like this, "Some people are soooo poor the only thing they have is money" =) it's like dissonance right Dr. Phil? God must have spent a loooot of time making you ahmad, that's why you've become like that. super lovable. And with this, I'd like to propose a cheer.
Uhm, say tea party is over, fine! But let's start to celebrate something new and better!
In Christ with love,
YOur crazy friend -
Maria Kathrina
errr...ok po, Tita.
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