november

This space has been taken for granted.

but you are still my confessional since I don't have any willing ears that
won't judge my sorry self.

I still feel trapped. For not having enough to solve all these contraints.
Wish a genie would magically appear and pay for my annullment case.
Wish a genie can point these dimwitted congressmen and senators to the realization
that we need the divorce bill.
Wish I can go back to certain scenes in my life to correct everything.
Wish I have the right words, the right reactions...

Wish I can be better.

Narcissistic prick.

Every time I complain, I charge it to being one. It is unfair
because my mind is my sole enemy. I can't even be honest with what I feel

to myself.

It is ok to feel this way - I need to convince myself. 

It is ok to admit that I am not ok. 

Lately I have been thinking about what legacy I am leaving to my kids.
To the world. My parents are getting old.

I AM GETTING OLD.

everything is fleeting.

I am sure there will be testimonials about being a wasted talent when I die, but I'll just be another status post.
a statistic. 

But do they really know me?

Do they even bother to know me? 

All I really need is a friend.

All I need...