On a Bus to Manila

 I notice I am still afraid to be alone with my thoughts. 

Now that I am in a bus, I feel vulnerable. Nowhere to go. Numbing my fear with stand-up specials. What if my CP's battery gets drained? I feel like crying. 

That narcissist really did a number on me.

 Worst part is I let her. I know I have nothing to gain. Can't really be free. Still alone. Can't even brag about her or I'll look like a fool. Nowhere to go. Yet I stayed, just in hope that we will recapture the spark. 

I feel like I grew older by like 10 years instead of 3. And though I have the confidence, I admit fearing that I will never be happy with someone for the rest of my life.